This is the completed painting I titled "How Much Fun Can I Have Before I Go To Hell?" I am taking an advanced painting class to bring me back to life after a horrible 2 years of watching and caring for my Mother, my best friend, die, and I was her complete care-taker...I will never be the same person, but I hope I can be a person who can make people feel happy and comfort them at the worst times in their lives. Even though I still spend some days in bed all day...she passed at home in June, I am really trying to get back to living...something a care-provider needs to learn to do. This is my start...going back to the school I was in (WVU-Parkersburg)when I had to leave my life to help her on her last and most courageous journey...it was the most difficult, but beautiful time we spent together...she will always be my Hero.

Anyway, back to my painting series for this semester...I decided to express myself in different circumstances...showing what I was going through in the last 2 years, not only with my Mom, but life changes I decided to make for many years and finally had the courage to do so... I felt I was living for everyone but me...And that was okay...if it was for my Mom, but not for others, who only caused me grief and toxic people I needed to break from...to grow.

So, now I want to live a life for me and these paintings are intense, some will be more than this one, which is full of life and humor...but to show my emotions and express them and release them to the outside world...Then I can move on...

This is a mixed -media piece...I used masonite board and covered it with old recycled Bible pages to paint my portrait on...then I used them on the frame...which I added the title to...just look at it with humor, I am definitely not trying to offend anyone...I'm Roman Catholic...I use Bible pgs. all the time along with any other things I can find...my top straps are from the Sunday comics if you look closely , you can see them showing through! I did use old make-up, foundation, creamy blush...acrylics and sealed with a clear glaze, both the frame and portrait for more depth in the color. This picture was taken by one of my fav gal pals when I was a featured artist for the Artist's Walk in Marietta, OH, for work I was commissioned for by the Marietta Convention and Visitor's Bureau...which they are still using the art work for banners throughout town this year! This pic was 2 summers ago, so my hair was shorter...Hope you like it and it makes you laugh or smile...

Started a New Painting for Class

This is the start of a new painting in my art class, Titled: "How Much Fun Can I Have Before I Go To Hell?" It is pure fun, I hope it doesn't offend anyone, but I have had one hell of a year and have decided to do all my paintings for therapeutic reasons...what I have been going thru and feeling...but with my Whimsy touch. It will be a semester of me or interpretations of me in different situations. This is just 3 painting hrs into this one, I see where my face needs to be fuller and my chin is too long and sharp...

I am using mixed media for this piece and the frame. Also, I am trying different painting styles...this is one I want to experiment on...using shapes and strokes of color, but I just wanted to get the piece all worked in with color, and now I can go to town. I provided the photo I am basing my look from...needs a lot of work, but having fun!

I will keep posting as I move thru it. Stay tuned...

Almost Finished...

Almost finished...a few tweeks and I think I am fini! I am showing the inspiration..."the Scream" by Edvard Munch. You can see the smaller canvas, which needs to be attached and I have to sign it. Now, on to my next painting ....

My version of "the Scream" Titled: "Screaming MeMe

This is my work after 3+ hours in class...I am adding or gluing the smaller canvas to the larger one...a version of me, I took pics of myself and using them for my reference. My body of work this semester is a take on what I have been going through over the past year and a half...dealing with taking full time care of my Mother to help her pass...the hardest thing I have ever done, but would do all over again. Also many other losses and changes and now trying to find me again...stay tuned in...! They are all whimsical paintings...

One of my Painted Refurbished Clocks

I can't remember where I found this clock, but I immediately knew I could transform it. It still works and is in perfect condition. I used mixed media for this piece. I cut out bird shapes from musical-note paper, since birds sing in the mornings to greet us! The rest of the clock was painted with acrylic paints and I used a gloss finish to seal it.

Time to Make These Again!!!!

This is a few of my Christmas sculpts of fun and tipsy characters that I make for Christmas and sell...I also make funny ornaments and wine stoppers. I like to save some for reference and just to have some for myself. BUT, before Christmas, I MUST create them for HALLOWEEN....I usually use paper clay or sometimes the sculpy clay and paper mache'. I then paint and embellish each one with all sorts of things...so look for my Halloween treats and tricks soon!!!

Drawings I Found While Going Thru Mom's House

Since my Mother passed away in June, I have been living in the house that I have known and grew up in...I moved back into a bedroom over a year before she passed, because she was battling cancers and colostomy problems for 20 years and needed 24/7 care. We had Hospice, but they were short of critical care nurses...I think she went to the wonderful home away from home 3-4 times when she would have episodes (when she was failing) and they loved her...then they would bring her back home after 5 days...I had the Living Room set up with the hospital bed, etc...and she wanted to die at home...the last time she came home from a hospice 5 day stay was my birthday...the best present I could ever have had, and I told her so...she died 10 days later....I stayed in her bed with her until they took her away in a body bag....I also did her make-up for her viewing...she was always petite, but at 60 lbs., she was a skeleton. I and even the Dr's. could not believe she lived as long as she did, but she hung on for me...we were like the same person...so connected and best of friends...too much love, she would say, because she knew when she died, I might die also. And if something happened to me, it would kill her....

She left me her estate and the house...I have to sell my other homes, and am going thru a divorce. She wanted so much to be here with me while going thru the divorce, but I have my brother in NC for support and some very good friends. And selling the homes, is not the best time in the world, but..??? The worst part is going thru everything at my parent's home, and Mom kept all of Daddy's things the way they were 12 yrs. ago, when he unexpectedly died.I am finding treasures and many things I had forgot ...then I have to get rid of so much and change it over to the way I want it...and it is the worst. Some push me to just do it, and others say isn't it still fresh...and my reply, you mean RAW, yes, it is, and I put it off. My brother and Mom's older sister said to move at my pace, don't let anyone tell you what you should be doing or feeling, because, they have never done or have been through the year+ I have. I have dedicated my whole life to my parents...staying close by, not taking better art jobs and moving away or up in my career, because, they needed me close by.... and now it is the first time my life is my own....and I am 52...and I am just learning who I am again...after the hell Mom went thru and myself trying to make her happy and comfortable, watching her die a slow and painful death... me losing all kinds of weight and crying myself to sleep at night, so Mom would not hear or see me do that. But she could see the weight loss and the aging in me. I am still grieving really hard and I have days where I don't want to get out of bed.

I got off track about the drawings I found...Mom kept so much of what I would draw, and this shows my love of fashion ...I wanted to be a fashion designer or model...can't you tell by the style of the clothes and details!!! So, one night I scanned this page to show that I was always drawing something...since I could hold a pencil...and I will cherish what she kept...and what she has given me. I love you Mom and miss you and Daddy!