I am Strong. I am Not Perfect. I am Willing to Try. I am Open-Minded. I am Flawed. I am Loved. I am Full of Potential. I am Gifted. I am Not Believing the Hype. I am Facinating. I am Woman.

Saturday, June 20, 2009

Another Father's Day Without You

There's something like a line of gold thread running through a man's words when he talks to his daughter, and gradually over the years it gets to be long enough for you to pick up in your hands and weave into a cloth that feels like love itself.
~John Gregory Brown, Decorations in a Ruined Cemetery, 1994

Me and Daddy-O back when I was a Senior in High School, this was Homecoming and I was on the Court! We had our Dads escort us onto the football field for the festivities. We all got to pick a rose wrapped in aluminum foil and whoever got the red rose was Queen and the yellow rose was runner up...well, with a name like Whitaker I was second to last in the line-up, so to speak, and just as I was getting the last of one of two roses to choose from, there were squeals of delight as two at the beginning of the line were the Queen and her Queen-ette. Geezzz, I never had a chance...
My Dad was a gentle soul. A quiet man, he loved to read and had always wanted to be a teacher, but could not afford to go to college. Instead, he put himself through Electrician School and worked for the power company. He made sure his children could go to school and be what they desired. He used to sit on the floor and feed our blind Yorkie with a spoon.
That was the only way she would eat.
I lived in Seattle for 5 years and wanted to buy a home there, but my Dad would never get on a plane. So, I moved back to Pittsburgh ( I had lived there while in art school) to be close to my parents in WV. So glad I did. He would call me at 5am when I was getting ready for work to tell me the weather all the time. God, I miss those calls. And to not go to the gym after work because it could snow. And then call to check on me to see if I went and if I did he would tell me how I worried him! Always Daddy's little girl... no matter how old.
It's been 10 years now and it still seems like only yesterday. And now one of my best friends is losing her Dad to lung cancer, practically overnight. Their relationship is like mine was with Daddy. She asked me to do a painting of her Dad in his favorite chair with his boy, Harley, his pug (who is always by his side!)
I was honored...This is going to be a tough one.

If tears could build a stairway
And Memories a lane...
I'd walk right up to Heaven
And bring you home again...
...Miss you Daddy...


  1. I miss my dad too. It will be 6 years on July 5th. I have many of the same memories you do of your dad, including the homecoming picture on the football field. You are never quite the same after you lose your dad. Happy Father's day to all dads everywhere! ~ Jill

  2. I agree...it doesn't matter how much time passes. I still think of my dad whenever something needs to be fixed or when my kids do something really funny.
    Thanks for sharing your story.

  3. I have entirely welled up with tears. Bless you honey. I loved reading your post and the picture of you two is so beautiful. What a great Daddy..xx

  4. Suzi this is such a beautiful post. You totally had me in tears all the way through.

    Your Dad is so handsome and his little girl is so beautiful.

    God bless your friend.

    Love Renee xoxo

  5. My heart goes out to you. My Daddy has been gone for about 50 years now. I miss him and wish I could talk to him because I was not lucky enough to be close to him like you were. I hope I am able to find that closeness when we meet again. I think of him so often and some of the things he said. I am Jennifer's Aunt Judy, her mom's twin sister.

  6. SuZi,
    what a beautiful post.

    your Dad's spirit shines through in that photograph.
    he looks gentle, loving, and unwavering.
    it's beautiful of you both.

    it's also clear
    that he has graced you
    with all of his best qualities.

    so sad, how our Dad's
    now walk only in the spirit world...
    but, somehow, they are now
    e v e r y w h e r e .

    peace and love~

  7. wow, you all made me cry, funny I didn't tear up writing about him, but your responces and your loses brought on a gusher!
    Xo to all of you!!!

  8. That is a beautiful post ......We all need to just count our blessings .
    R. Smitz